The Intuitive Path Blog

Today's Intuitive Self-Care Tip: Every Body Deserves a Massage

I am just going to assume that all of you have enjoyed a professional massage before, and if you haven't, you are overdue! I find massages extremely relaxing and rejuvenating at the same time. They can be a great piece of your regular self-care routine. If you think that you don't have the resources for it, let me convince you otherwise with just some of the benefits of massage therapy (Source: http://www.massagetherapy.com/learnmore/benefits.php):

• Decreased anxiety.
• Enhanced sleep quality.
• Greater energy.
• Improved concentration.
• Increased circulation.
• Reduced fatigue.

I find that particularly as a solo business owner I can use all the self-care I can get :-). If our body is not in great shape, how are we supposed be present with our clients and produce great results in our businesses? This certainly counts for everybody but in particular for us because we are the greatest asset of our business.

If money still comes up as an objective, than let me share some tips for self-care on a shoestring:

1. Barter your services with a massage therapist (just make sure you find a mutually beneficial agreement)
2. See people in training at massage schools so it will cost less
3. Get a half hour instead of an hour - less is better than nothing!

Don't wait, make an appointment for this week, and enjoy!

Ladies, Let's Change This Pattern!

… and you will ask, what is she talking about?

I am inspired to write about a pattern that I see in a lot of women including myself. This comes out of a conversation I had earlier today with one of my dearest friends in Germany. She told me about an incident with a guy that told her something very hurtful, and she actually accepted his harshness until she had a physical reaction a few days later. This made me think about a pattern that a lot of us have where we willingly take in any criticism from others because we want to make sure that we are loved and accepted. So, we accommodate whatever they are looking for in order to get what we want. But do we truly get it this way? Is there ever a way to receive self-worth and self-love from the outside? We need to look at the “self” in the equation!

As open as we are to adjusting and answering other people's expectations, as difficult it is for many of us to accept compliments, gratitude, and other gifts from others. Can we only handle the “bad” stuff? Come on, ladies, let’s change this pattern, finally and for good. Decide consciously if you want to receive the critical word from someone, if there is really a ground for it that makes you want to change for the sake of your own conscience and decision. Determine just the same if you want to receive a gift or a compliment based on your own terms. Does it come from the heart? Was it really meant in all honesty? And even if not, maybe you still want to say yes to it at times. Let’s enjoy the good stuff, give it some more weight over the “bad” stuff because most of the time we are already so critical of ourselves as it is. Isn’t this true?

Be gentle, be loving, be true, and you can give all the love and worth you need to yourself and more to others as well!

Thank you for reading and please share your insights,

Anja

Happiness Booster Series: Play to Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

Hello Folks,

In my Intuitive Path Radio Show today we continued the happiness booster series, and discussed how to play to your strengths, and not your weaknesses. You can access or download the episode from the player right here on the left side bar of my blog. We had great interaction between the listeners, and I look forward to the next episode on "Flow" next Tuesday, March 16, at 1:00 pm EST. Look out for the announcements!

Thank you all & enjoy every moment,

Anja

Setting Boundaries for Self-Care

Hello Wonder-Ladies!

Many of us women have a challenge with setting boundaries in our personal and professional lives. This certainly shows up at times when I work with my clients. We’d rather accommodate and fulfill everyone’s desires before responding to our own. And at that point, we often times have no time or energy left to do so. Many of us are conditioned to be nice girls, always friendly, always willing to help, selfless and giving. These are certainly wonderful features in a person as long as they are in balance with treating ourselves the same way as a measure of self-care. However, we tend to overlook the importance of our own well-being in giving to others and sharing ourselves so freely. If we deplete ourselves how can we continue to satisfy our need to care for our family, friends and a network of people we want to attend to.  

Here is my encouragement for all the women out there who struggle with this. I have a few questions for you that hopefully will help you overcome the nice-girl-syndrome and turn you into a powerful and loving lady who knows exactly where and when to draw the line for herself:    

1)   Why is it important for me to set boundaries?
2)    What has kept me so far from drawing the line?
3)    How would I benefit from communicating with others what is acceptable and what’s not?
4)    What would help me to say ‘no’ when I feel it?
5)    Which part of my life needs this new approach the most? What are my new rules?  

Be frank with yourself because you already have the answers in you, and talk to other women about this topic in case you get stuck. As always, feel free to share your comment on this blog because we all can benefit so much from each other’s experiences and wisdom.  

Faith & strength to you on your path,

Anja

12 Ways to Boost Your Happiness

I am reading this very insightful book right now that was only published beginning of this year: Bluebird - Women and the New Psychology of Happiness by Ariel Gore. There is much to say about this book, and I will share more with you hopefully in the near future. But for now I want to give you information that she shares which you can apply instantly in your life for a positive and powerful shift.

Based on her own and other research, she mentions 12 ways of boosting our happiness:

1. Gratitude - pull out your journal again and write a few things every day that you are thankful for
2. Kindness - send a smile, send out good vibes, give someone a hug and see how the magic will work on you and the other person
3. Meditation / prayer - whatever suits your belief system, maybe even both ;-)
4. Focus on your strengths instead of your shortcomings - we tend to look at what's not working in us and around us, try the shift to what are you good at, what's working in your life
5. Spend resources on positive experiences rather than material things - I personally have found this to be a great point because our memory hopefully stays with us forever whereas things might not
6. Build resources to keep yourself out of poverty's reach - money by itself doesn't make one happy but we know how stressful it is not to have it, so as anything in life it wants attention
7. Positive relationships - let go of the people that drain you, and invite more of the supportive and caring folks
8. Inspiration - what would life be without it (hopefully this blog is inspiring to you...)
9. Flow - activities that make you forget time and allow you full focus and joy in the process
10. Accomplishments - in your own way, what makes you feel accomplished? What gives you a great sense of satisfaction of having taken a certain action? (my mom would love the rhyme here)
11. Metaphysical worthiness - a very interesting concept particularly for us women who often feel that we don't deserve happiness! Yes, we are worth it, every human being by divine right.
12. Self-determination - the ability to choose your own path in career, relationships, life...

Now, it is up to you to pick what works best and what suits you, and add things to the mix that bring you happiness. Some of mine are - just to mention a few:

- Listen to Stevie Wonder

- Have tea with good friends

- Watch "Burn Notice" with my husband

Enjoy & share your wisdom and experiences with us,

Anja

5 Tips to Prepare for a Scary Conversation ;-)

I am sure you all know situations in which you feel "forced" to have a conversation with someone that you would rather run away from... Many of us have the tendency to avoid or even deny conflict with another person because the thought of having a confrontation is too scary, nerve-wrecking, and exhausting. Particularly as women we have the tendency to accommodate everyone, be the nice girl, and make everyone else happy before ourselves ;-). Sounds familiar?

I want to share 5 tips with you that has helped my clients and myself in overcoming the fear to address a conflict and give room for our needs and concerns to be expressed - something that is extremely liberating:

1. Visualize the ideal conversation and outcome - create a vivid image in your mind:
   - How do you want things to go?
   - What is your main goal in having the conversation?
   - How do you want the other person to deal with your perspective?
2. Decide for the setting of the conversation:
   - When do you want to have the conversation?
   - In what environment?
   - Will there be other people present?
3. Write down the questions and talking points:
   - What do you want to absolutely address?
   - Why is this important for you?
   - How can you find a common ground?
4. Prepare shortly before the conversation:
   - Meditate for a few minutes to connect with yourself and the other
   - Set an intention for the conversation
   - Call up the vivid image of the ideal outcome
5. Be present during the conversation:
   - Allow the other to express their view freely
   - Uphold the boundaries of respect and acceptance if the conversation turns emotional
   - Show the other person that you care about their perspective

So many of the conflicts we have with others are based on our interpretation of their behavior, motivation, and intentions. When we enter into an open conversation about the conflict, we enable ourselves and the other person to express who their are.

Be bold, be brave, be yourself!

Anja

Be Yourself - No Matter What

"You were born with potential. You were born with goodness and trust. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness." -Rumi

Rumi said it many centuries ago, spiritual and motivational leaders tell us nowadays. And we can still use a reminder for understanding how great we are and how much potential each one of us carries in ourselves. At times, it is challenging to access this knowing, to live this truth because we might have doubts about what we can achieve or we have gone through many transitions that took away some of our confidence and faith in the process.

But wait, will you let any of this stop you to live an authentic life, to express yourself the way you feel is true, the way it honors who you are a the core? Will you instead model everyone else, hope to find acceptance by following the herd? If it is what you want, sure. How many times though do we have the urge to create our own path, live our uniqueness, bring together pieces that haven't been connected before?

I am not saying it is easy, I am not claiming that I have it all figured out but I know for myself that true happiness and satisfaction lies in living what is purposeful, enjoyable and exciting to me.

Take a journey inside yourself for a few minutes, and ask yourself:

- Where do I need to be more honest to myself?

- In what areas do I want to step up to the plate more?

- What would help me to take these steps?

- Who can support me on walking my own path?

Once you have given yourself the time to explore these first questions, it will only continue because deep down inside we all have the natural desire to live our potential. Isn't that the most exciting part of life? Do it no matter what because people and opportunities will show up to help and support you.

Walking along the path with you,

Anja

The Golden in Girls = Female Bond and Support

Hello Lovers of Life,

As sentences seem not to flow out of me this morning, I will go with impressions that I wish to share with you about the TV show "Golden Girls." I grew up with this show and many other US shows in Germany (the dubbed versions), and I was so excited when one of the channels here starting broadcasting a few episodes again. One recently watched episode especially got stuck with me, and I realized that I always liked the show so much for the following reasons:

• A strong sense of female companionship
• The support they give to each other through the hardest moments
• A sense of humor that lightens the spirit
• Diversity among these women in character, age and regional background (only after watching it in English I realized that two of them are from New York City, one is from the Midwest, and one from the South)

Why I wanted to share this with you is because as women we might overlook how powerful female friendships are in our lives, and it really make me appreciate again the support, wisdom and love that I receive from the women in my circle. Yes, we can discuss many things with the men in our lives but there are some things that want to be shared with women only.

Nourish the golden in you and others by connecting with the girls in your life:

• Who do you want to send support to this week?
• And who can you ask for support?
• In what ways can you generally strengthen your bond with the women in your circle?

These are questions for you and me as I am walking next to you on the path to a more powerful and loving self. And I hope that my ruminations are fruitful and inspiring to you! I thank each of you for being your true self, for giving and loving to yourself and others, and for being there for each other in lighter and in darker times.

A heartfelt thank you to all my beautiful friends,

Anja