The Intuitive Path Blog

Today's Intuitive Self-Care Tip: Start a Morning Me Time Routine

"Morning has broken like the first morning..." ~ Cat Stevens

Working from home I have been tempted many times to walk over from my bedroom straight to the office in the morning. Do you know what I am talking about? Especially during peak times it seems the most logical thing to do. Get right to the task when you get up! However, whenever I do this and skip my beloved morning routine, the day just doesn't go as well. I feel that I skipped a very important part of me arriving into the day after several hours of rest. I get overwhelmed much more quickly, and I don't have as much fun and satisfaction with my work. How about you?

Hopefully, you already have a morning me time routine that energizes you and gets you ready to address the tasks of the day with joy and passion. For the ones of you who haven't done it yet and might also be challenged by the "me-time" phrase, think about how enjoyable it would be to have time by yourself in the morning, even if it's 15 minutes. You know by now, I am all about just doing it, just getting started.

So, let me share how I ease into the day:

* Prayer shortly before sunrise - nothing beats the connection with the Supreme Being right when I wake up

* Journaling with a cup of tea - I go with Julie Cameron's idea of the morning pages, just jot down whatever comes to mind: what I dreamed last night, how I would like the day to go, what worries me at the moment...

* Writing affirmations in my journal - my newest addition to the routine which has shown to be quite powerful the other day to calm my mind from anxious thoughts about work!

* 30 minute walk outside - if you are like me, nature does the trick to relax, energize and attune the whole being to the beauty of this world and my life

I would love to hear what my readers do for their morning me time routine. Please share with us so that we can learn from each other! I know that some people enjoy yoga first thing or meditation. We all need to find our intuitive path for what works best for us and speaks the most to our self-care needs.

Enjoy the process and try the first thing that comes to mind tomorrow morning!

Ladies, Let's Change This Pattern!

… and you will ask, what is she talking about?

I am inspired to write about a pattern that I see in a lot of women including myself. This comes out of a conversation I had earlier today with one of my dearest friends in Germany. She told me about an incident with a guy that told her something very hurtful, and she actually accepted his harshness until she had a physical reaction a few days later. This made me think about a pattern that a lot of us have where we willingly take in any criticism from others because we want to make sure that we are loved and accepted. So, we accommodate whatever they are looking for in order to get what we want. But do we truly get it this way? Is there ever a way to receive self-worth and self-love from the outside? We need to look at the “self” in the equation!

As open as we are to adjusting and answering other people's expectations, as difficult it is for many of us to accept compliments, gratitude, and other gifts from others. Can we only handle the “bad” stuff? Come on, ladies, let’s change this pattern, finally and for good. Decide consciously if you want to receive the critical word from someone, if there is really a ground for it that makes you want to change for the sake of your own conscience and decision. Determine just the same if you want to receive a gift or a compliment based on your own terms. Does it come from the heart? Was it really meant in all honesty? And even if not, maybe you still want to say yes to it at times. Let’s enjoy the good stuff, give it some more weight over the “bad” stuff because most of the time we are already so critical of ourselves as it is. Isn’t this true?

Be gentle, be loving, be true, and you can give all the love and worth you need to yourself and more to others as well!

Thank you for reading and please share your insights,

Anja

The Fourth Truths of FISH!

Hi Folks,

Sometimes the smallest books can have the greatest impact, maybe because we can actually get through the whole book in a few settings. Or maybe because the simplest messages have so much truth in them. Based on the recommendation of a good friend of mine I picked up Fish! A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results by Stephen C. Lundin, Harry Paul, and John Christensen. My friend mentioned to me that this book was describing the effort of improving morale and the work environment in a company. I found, however, that it is just as applicable to our personal lives.

 Here is one quote from the authors: “There is always a choice about the way you do your work, even if there is not a choice about the work itself.” Isn’t the same thing true for our life in general? Whatever situation we are in, we always have the choice how we deal with it and what we make of it. Do we take it as a stepping stone or a stumbling block? Do we see the blessing in any situation or only the curse? This is the first of the four truths, and let me share with you all four:

1. Choose your attitude
2. Play
3. Engage & make other’s day
4. Be present

 Often times, we don’t feel that we have a choice how to face a situation or experience. Similarly, we can get so serious about life because yes, it is a serious matter but then there is also the part in us that wants to take it lightly, laugh about it and be creative and playful in finding solutions and insights. That’s where the second truth of play comes in which allows us to have a lighter and more creative outlook.

 When life gets too serious and we get too serious about ourselves, we might forget to be there for others because we are focused so much on fixing what’s not going right. I can personally attest to it, and I am also witness of how good it feels to engage others and attempt to make their day better whenever possible. It creates connection, a sense of purpose, and a feeling of moving forward – "even if" it starts with moving another person’s life forward. And many times, it’s the small steps of smiling at a person or holding the door that engage us with each other and lightens up our days – so much for the third truth.

 Last but not least, being present as the four truth enables us to commit to the other truths. Because as long as we are focused on the past or present, we give away the chance to choose our attitude in the moment, play with what occurs in the present, and engage with the people that are around us. Every moment is an opportunity, and if we turn it into something empowering or disempowering is our own choice!

 Ask yourself the following questions which have been inspired by the authors, and I hope they will boost your morale and improve your life results :-):

1. Who do you want to be while you live your life?
2. How could you have more fun and create more energy?
3. Who are the people around you and how can you engage them in a way that will make their day? And how can you make your own day?
4. How can you be more present with yourself and others?

Imagine what it would be like to bring your whole being to every moment in your life. That’s when we flourish and thrive.

Much love,

Anja

 PS: To find out more about the book and the philosophy behind it, check out the website: www.fishphilosophy.com

Happiness Booster Series: Wonderful Resources for Meditation

Dear Pathfinders,

As part of the happiness booster series that I started recently, meditation and prayer were one of the boosters mentioned. And meditation certainly has been the buzz word for a quite a while, and more and more studies show the great benefits for our overall well-being. I have been meaning to write about this topic, and then, as it happens so often in coaching, one of my lovely clients brought the topic up in our last session. Apparently, it was the right time to talk about meditation and share some resources with you here and now.

So, what came up for me first was that everyone talks about meditation and many of us practice it already but what does meditation actually mean? And what form do you practice? Are you aware that there are many different ways of meditating and as someone said to me recently, it's more about the state than about a particular form of activity? For me, essentially meditation is about bringing us back into the here and now as I personally tend to be all over the place - in the past or the future, outside while I am at my desk, on one task while I am thinking of another... Do you feel me?

In my typical research kind of mind, I looked at different definitions on meditation, and I thought that Deepak Chopra said it so well, that I wanted to share his with you: "Meditation is a tool for the re-discovery of body's own inner intelligence. Practiced for thousands of years, it's not about forcing the mind to be quiet, it's finding the silence that's already there and making it a part of your life. Silence is the birthplace of happiness, creativity and infinite possibilities. From this field of pure potentiality we get our bursts of inspiration, our most intuitive thoughts, and our deepest sense of connection to the Universe. Practicing meditation on a daily basis allows you to weave silence and stillness into your mind and body to create a life of greater compassion and fulfillment. Meditation is a journey to the center of our very being; a journey to emotional freedom; and a journey to the reawakening of our unconditioned self."

With all these benefits and enjoyments of meditation in mind, let me rekindle the fire and offer you some wonderful resources that I like to use and that I am very grateful to the "authors" for. Some of you I am sure are very consistent and committed to your meditative practice. Many of us though might have fallen off the horse, tried one or two forms out, and then decided it wasn't for them. Wherever you are in your practice, there is always more to explore and try in this wonderful world. So, here is my list for you, and invite comments and contributions from any of you to add to this:

http://www.soundstrue.com/guide/meditation/#state_twenty_one_exercises – New guide to meditation by Sounds True, the spiritual growth publisher

http://life.gaiam.com/gaiam/p/Gaiam-Life-Meditation-Rooms.html - Natural sounds and images, beautiful and so relaxing by Gaiam, the eco online store

http://www.myinnerworld.com - Playful website by Michele Bernhardt, an intuitive healer, with lovely graphics and beautiful meditations

http://www.chopra.com/library - A variety of relaxing and calming guided meditations by the Chopra Center

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy...

Anja

Setting Boundaries for Self-Care

Hello Wonder-Ladies!

Many of us women have a challenge with setting boundaries in our personal and professional lives. This certainly shows up at times when I work with my clients. We’d rather accommodate and fulfill everyone’s desires before responding to our own. And at that point, we often times have no time or energy left to do so. Many of us are conditioned to be nice girls, always friendly, always willing to help, selfless and giving. These are certainly wonderful features in a person as long as they are in balance with treating ourselves the same way as a measure of self-care. However, we tend to overlook the importance of our own well-being in giving to others and sharing ourselves so freely. If we deplete ourselves how can we continue to satisfy our need to care for our family, friends and a network of people we want to attend to.  

Here is my encouragement for all the women out there who struggle with this. I have a few questions for you that hopefully will help you overcome the nice-girl-syndrome and turn you into a powerful and loving lady who knows exactly where and when to draw the line for herself:    

1)   Why is it important for me to set boundaries?
2)    What has kept me so far from drawing the line?
3)    How would I benefit from communicating with others what is acceptable and what’s not?
4)    What would help me to say ‘no’ when I feel it?
5)    Which part of my life needs this new approach the most? What are my new rules?  

Be frank with yourself because you already have the answers in you, and talk to other women about this topic in case you get stuck. As always, feel free to share your comment on this blog because we all can benefit so much from each other’s experiences and wisdom.  

Faith & strength to you on your path,

Anja

5 Tips to Prepare for a Scary Conversation ;-)

I am sure you all know situations in which you feel "forced" to have a conversation with someone that you would rather run away from... Many of us have the tendency to avoid or even deny conflict with another person because the thought of having a confrontation is too scary, nerve-wrecking, and exhausting. Particularly as women we have the tendency to accommodate everyone, be the nice girl, and make everyone else happy before ourselves ;-). Sounds familiar?

I want to share 5 tips with you that has helped my clients and myself in overcoming the fear to address a conflict and give room for our needs and concerns to be expressed - something that is extremely liberating:

1. Visualize the ideal conversation and outcome - create a vivid image in your mind:
   - How do you want things to go?
   - What is your main goal in having the conversation?
   - How do you want the other person to deal with your perspective?
2. Decide for the setting of the conversation:
   - When do you want to have the conversation?
   - In what environment?
   - Will there be other people present?
3. Write down the questions and talking points:
   - What do you want to absolutely address?
   - Why is this important for you?
   - How can you find a common ground?
4. Prepare shortly before the conversation:
   - Meditate for a few minutes to connect with yourself and the other
   - Set an intention for the conversation
   - Call up the vivid image of the ideal outcome
5. Be present during the conversation:
   - Allow the other to express their view freely
   - Uphold the boundaries of respect and acceptance if the conversation turns emotional
   - Show the other person that you care about their perspective

So many of the conflicts we have with others are based on our interpretation of their behavior, motivation, and intentions. When we enter into an open conversation about the conflict, we enable ourselves and the other person to express who their are.

Be bold, be brave, be yourself!

Anja