The Intuitive Path Blog

Setting Boundaries for Self-Care

Hello Wonder-Ladies!

Many of us women have a challenge with setting boundaries in our personal and professional lives. This certainly shows up at times when I work with my clients. We’d rather accommodate and fulfill everyone’s desires before responding to our own. And at that point, we often times have no time or energy left to do so. Many of us are conditioned to be nice girls, always friendly, always willing to help, selfless and giving. These are certainly wonderful features in a person as long as they are in balance with treating ourselves the same way as a measure of self-care. However, we tend to overlook the importance of our own well-being in giving to others and sharing ourselves so freely. If we deplete ourselves how can we continue to satisfy our need to care for our family, friends and a network of people we want to attend to.  

Here is my encouragement for all the women out there who struggle with this. I have a few questions for you that hopefully will help you overcome the nice-girl-syndrome and turn you into a powerful and loving lady who knows exactly where and when to draw the line for herself:    

1)   Why is it important for me to set boundaries?
2)    What has kept me so far from drawing the line?
3)    How would I benefit from communicating with others what is acceptable and what’s not?
4)    What would help me to say ‘no’ when I feel it?
5)    Which part of my life needs this new approach the most? What are my new rules?  

Be frank with yourself because you already have the answers in you, and talk to other women about this topic in case you get stuck. As always, feel free to share your comment on this blog because we all can benefit so much from each other’s experiences and wisdom.  

Faith & strength to you on your path,

Anja

Happiness Booster Series: Metaphysical Worthiness

My previous blog post was about 12 happiness boosters that the author Ariel Gore gathered from her own and other people's research. I found these points so important that I wanted to elaborate further on each in my blog, and I hope you as my readers will contribute with your perspective and insight. Today, I address arguably the most important happiness booster of metaphysical worthiness - and allow me to do so in the language of poetry.

You are worthy of a beautiful and powerful life ---

We are all worthy of a life that has been given to us by

Call it a higher force, call it the source, may it be Allah, God, Jahwe...

... we all carry the divine in us...

with the love we feel, the intuition that connects us to all, the energy that flows through us

Call it life force, or qi, or prana...

You deserve

you are loved

you are full of talents, gifts, strengths - a unique mix that makes you you

Call it truth, or soul, or core...

so never tell yourself that you can't do it

never make yourself believe that you are small

and never trust the voice that says you don't deserve

--- because you are worthy of a beautiful and powerful life

Love,

Anja

12 Ways to Boost Your Happiness

I am reading this very insightful book right now that was only published beginning of this year: Bluebird - Women and the New Psychology of Happiness by Ariel Gore. There is much to say about this book, and I will share more with you hopefully in the near future. But for now I want to give you information that she shares which you can apply instantly in your life for a positive and powerful shift.

Based on her own and other research, she mentions 12 ways of boosting our happiness:

1. Gratitude - pull out your journal again and write a few things every day that you are thankful for
2. Kindness - send a smile, send out good vibes, give someone a hug and see how the magic will work on you and the other person
3. Meditation / prayer - whatever suits your belief system, maybe even both ;-)
4. Focus on your strengths instead of your shortcomings - we tend to look at what's not working in us and around us, try the shift to what are you good at, what's working in your life
5. Spend resources on positive experiences rather than material things - I personally have found this to be a great point because our memory hopefully stays with us forever whereas things might not
6. Build resources to keep yourself out of poverty's reach - money by itself doesn't make one happy but we know how stressful it is not to have it, so as anything in life it wants attention
7. Positive relationships - let go of the people that drain you, and invite more of the supportive and caring folks
8. Inspiration - what would life be without it (hopefully this blog is inspiring to you...)
9. Flow - activities that make you forget time and allow you full focus and joy in the process
10. Accomplishments - in your own way, what makes you feel accomplished? What gives you a great sense of satisfaction of having taken a certain action? (my mom would love the rhyme here)
11. Metaphysical worthiness - a very interesting concept particularly for us women who often feel that we don't deserve happiness! Yes, we are worth it, every human being by divine right.
12. Self-determination - the ability to choose your own path in career, relationships, life...

Now, it is up to you to pick what works best and what suits you, and add things to the mix that bring you happiness. Some of mine are - just to mention a few:

- Listen to Stevie Wonder

- Have tea with good friends

- Watch "Burn Notice" with my husband

Enjoy & share your wisdom and experiences with us,

Anja

5 Tips to Prepare for a Scary Conversation ;-)

I am sure you all know situations in which you feel "forced" to have a conversation with someone that you would rather run away from... Many of us have the tendency to avoid or even deny conflict with another person because the thought of having a confrontation is too scary, nerve-wrecking, and exhausting. Particularly as women we have the tendency to accommodate everyone, be the nice girl, and make everyone else happy before ourselves ;-). Sounds familiar?

I want to share 5 tips with you that has helped my clients and myself in overcoming the fear to address a conflict and give room for our needs and concerns to be expressed - something that is extremely liberating:

1. Visualize the ideal conversation and outcome - create a vivid image in your mind:
   - How do you want things to go?
   - What is your main goal in having the conversation?
   - How do you want the other person to deal with your perspective?
2. Decide for the setting of the conversation:
   - When do you want to have the conversation?
   - In what environment?
   - Will there be other people present?
3. Write down the questions and talking points:
   - What do you want to absolutely address?
   - Why is this important for you?
   - How can you find a common ground?
4. Prepare shortly before the conversation:
   - Meditate for a few minutes to connect with yourself and the other
   - Set an intention for the conversation
   - Call up the vivid image of the ideal outcome
5. Be present during the conversation:
   - Allow the other to express their view freely
   - Uphold the boundaries of respect and acceptance if the conversation turns emotional
   - Show the other person that you care about their perspective

So many of the conflicts we have with others are based on our interpretation of their behavior, motivation, and intentions. When we enter into an open conversation about the conflict, we enable ourselves and the other person to express who their are.

Be bold, be brave, be yourself!

Anja

Be Yourself - No Matter What

"You were born with potential. You were born with goodness and trust. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness." -Rumi

Rumi said it many centuries ago, spiritual and motivational leaders tell us nowadays. And we can still use a reminder for understanding how great we are and how much potential each one of us carries in ourselves. At times, it is challenging to access this knowing, to live this truth because we might have doubts about what we can achieve or we have gone through many transitions that took away some of our confidence and faith in the process.

But wait, will you let any of this stop you to live an authentic life, to express yourself the way you feel is true, the way it honors who you are a the core? Will you instead model everyone else, hope to find acceptance by following the herd? If it is what you want, sure. How many times though do we have the urge to create our own path, live our uniqueness, bring together pieces that haven't been connected before?

I am not saying it is easy, I am not claiming that I have it all figured out but I know for myself that true happiness and satisfaction lies in living what is purposeful, enjoyable and exciting to me.

Take a journey inside yourself for a few minutes, and ask yourself:

- Where do I need to be more honest to myself?

- In what areas do I want to step up to the plate more?

- What would help me to take these steps?

- Who can support me on walking my own path?

Once you have given yourself the time to explore these first questions, it will only continue because deep down inside we all have the natural desire to live our potential. Isn't that the most exciting part of life? Do it no matter what because people and opportunities will show up to help and support you.

Walking along the path with you,

Anja

It's March - Time for Something New

It's March, I am ready for spring - for the flowers, for the green, for a new start, and new experiences and activities. One of my favorite magazine, Body & Soul, had this wonderful article in their March issue about "our very own feel-good stimulus package." It is full of great ideas to juice up our lives, and I found it so suitable for this month coming out of hibernation ;-). Anyways, the one part that really got stuck with me was the idea that learning something new ranks highly in the happiness research. According to this research, "novelty excites the brain's pleasure pathways by releasing dopamine." Ok, we knew this already out of experience, didn't we? So, let's act on it this month. Let's try something new, and see how it feels.

It can be something new but it can also be something that you loved to do in the past, and haven't done in ages. Here is my personal spur-of-the-moment list: "Old" ones that I haven't done in too long like practicing my vocal skills, like playing volleyball, like hanging out with friends over dinner without looking at the time. Or for new ones, traveling to new places with my husband, getting involved with different organizations or taking a cooking class (my husband would definitely like this one). It feels great just to think about all the opportunities I have, and the things I can do to enrich my life.

• What is something new would like to do or learn?
• What is something from the past that you haven't done in a long time but you would love to start again?
• Where and how can you do it?
• Would you like to have others join you?
• When will you do the research?

You see, I am getting you going on this. I would love to hear from you what you have decided for, how it makes you feel, anything that comes up for you.

We have the tendency to give up the fun stuff, the playful things in our lives when the going gets hard and we have a lot of stress. At the same time, how will we recharge our batteries and actually enjoy this life if we are constantly on the run? This is a question for me and you ;-).

Cheers to the new month with new adventures and experiences,

Anja

Put The Music Back In My Life

Hello My Friends,

For the ones who know me, I have always loved music. I remember that the first band I listened to were The Beatles. I benefited from having older siblings who introduced me too many different music styles, and I went through all kinds of phases, from 60s rock to Motown to jazz to hip hop. Do you remember your musical adventures? The bands and musicians you came to love and follow every step of the way?

Music is so very inspiring, comforting and at times challenging to me in good ways. The lyrics wake me up to a better life, a more giving and loving life, and the appreciation of the good things around us. Music is with me, in good or in bad times. It just soothes my whole being.

So, how interesting that for some time I totally neglected music even if I knew deep down inside how important it is for me. It happens that we get so side-tracked by our duties, obligations, etc. that we forget about what nourishes us, what makes us feel inspired and relaxed. Amazing, isn't it? Maybe you would say that it's sad. Though if we look at it as a chance to rediscover and appreciate again what has once been lost, there is a different perspective to consider. At times, we will get off track in life, and as long as we tap into ourselves and ask for support from the higher power, we can always found our way back on our track. Music helps me very much on this journey, and I hope it does for you, too.

And as we speak of it, here is one of my favorite songs (among many) about music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2rjKNywhiY

Enjoy!

The Golden in Girls = Female Bond and Support

Hello Lovers of Life,

As sentences seem not to flow out of me this morning, I will go with impressions that I wish to share with you about the TV show "Golden Girls." I grew up with this show and many other US shows in Germany (the dubbed versions), and I was so excited when one of the channels here starting broadcasting a few episodes again. One recently watched episode especially got stuck with me, and I realized that I always liked the show so much for the following reasons:

• A strong sense of female companionship
• The support they give to each other through the hardest moments
• A sense of humor that lightens the spirit
• Diversity among these women in character, age and regional background (only after watching it in English I realized that two of them are from New York City, one is from the Midwest, and one from the South)

Why I wanted to share this with you is because as women we might overlook how powerful female friendships are in our lives, and it really make me appreciate again the support, wisdom and love that I receive from the women in my circle. Yes, we can discuss many things with the men in our lives but there are some things that want to be shared with women only.

Nourish the golden in you and others by connecting with the girls in your life:

• Who do you want to send support to this week?
• And who can you ask for support?
• In what ways can you generally strengthen your bond with the women in your circle?

These are questions for you and me as I am walking next to you on the path to a more powerful and loving self. And I hope that my ruminations are fruitful and inspiring to you! I thank each of you for being your true self, for giving and loving to yourself and others, and for being there for each other in lighter and in darker times.

A heartfelt thank you to all my beautiful friends,

Anja

The Intuitive Path Radio Show on Thursday January 28th

Hello Creative by Nature People,

Join us this Thursday, January 28th, at 2:00 pm EST for the next episode of the Intuitive Path Radio Show.I have invited Diana Meade, a creativity coach, self-taught artist and writer to talk to us about the importance of creativity for our lives and how we can unleash our creativity through energy techniques. Diana helps women claim their creativity using the body’s energy to ignite the creative spark. Diana made her living painting for seventeen years. After discovering energy techniques, she realized that her struggles with the creative process could be lessened or eliminated. Many of the blocks that stood in her way dissolved and she has been able to take more creative risks and enjoy the creative process much more ever since. She now shares her own experiences with the women she works with, and we have the pleasure of benefiting from her insight in this episode.

For more information and to access the show live or as a download, go to the following link:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/theintuitivepath/2010/01/28/how-to-unleash-your-creativity-through-energy-techniques

Enjoy,

Anja

What Avatar Means to Me

For the readers among you who know me well, I am not the biggest movie buff and usually hesitant about movies like Avatar who are hyped to a great degree. So, how I ended up watching it, was because of my mother-in-law's birthday wish to see it with us. My husband had seen it already, and told me that the technology behind it was amazing and very advanced, only that the plot in his opening was not as exciting and new.

No worries, I am not planning on spoiling the movie for any of you who haven't seen it yet. I just want to mention a few things that were striking to me, and feel very important to share. I would certainly love to hear your comments on this.

Interconnectedness: We are all connected, through the environment we live in, the communities we are part of, and the invisible source of energy that brought all of this about - name it God, the higher being, whatever term you prefer - the movie shows the power and beauty of being strongly connected with each other

Community: The sense of community is certainly strong in the movie, and there is the interesting contrast between the interaction between the humans and the interaction between the Navi, the "aliens".

Environmentalism: Yes, the movie is about protecting your environment and appreciating the beauty of nature. Not because that's the thing to do, and it's cool to be green. No, because it's a basic necessity for us to appreciate our nature as we need it for survival on a physical, spiritual, mental... level. We are meant to nourish ourselves from nature, and at the same time care for it, appreciate it, and understand its value to our lives. Just from a basis of common sense, how can we survive with our oxygen or clean water? We can't! And we still continue to pollute the air and the water and all these great resources that were given to us in such abundance.

Feminine Power: Ok guys, this has to be said from a female perspective. The women in this movie are awesome - in the human and the Navi community. And again, in order not to spoil the movie for some of you, let me just say that the power of the Navi community lies in empowered status of both the women and the men. They might have different roles but they complement each other. How can we human beings really thrive if part of our society doesn't live their potential? This concerns not only women, this concerns any people in our societies who are disempowered and have less access to resources than others.

I did not expect this movie to evoke these reflections for me but I am so glad it did, and I hope it will make you think about your life as well and the way you have created it for yourself. Know that you have the choice any second to change the course of your directions. We can always be more connected, more loving, caring and trusting, and life gives us the chance to do so anytime.

Thank you reading this,

Anja